Even Cowgirls Get the Blues in the Bookshop

"A book no more contains reality than a clock contains time. A book may measure so-called reality as a clock measures so-called time; a book may create an illusion of reality as a clock creates an illusion of time; a book may be real, just as a clock is real (both more real, perhaps, than those ideas to which they allude); but let's not kid ourselves - all a clock contains is wheels and springs and all a book contains is sentences." - Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

 "An idiotic vitch like you

Must rrroast upon the barbecue!" - Roald Dahl, The Witches